the post i’ve been avoiding

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It creeps up on me every once in a while, completely blind-siding me, and leaving me with a lump in my throat. I miss Washington. I’ve done this moving out-of-state thing a couple times before, and I knew it would take a little time before the reality of leaving my own reality would set in. And it has become real. Our everything has changed. Its the strangest thing. We have so many loved ones here, and are really starting to settle into a rhythm in our household. We are familiar with the area (like, blindfold me and I could get you to the beach and 3 different Starbucks, familiar). We love our home, love the weather, love the company . . . so when feelings of loneliness and homesick-ness creep up, I don’t know what to do with it, and am only now giving it the attention that it deserves.

I suppose I owe this new-found awareness to Starbucks, and their ever-impressive marketing. I just walked into the store to grab a mocha, and passed through two huge "Pike Place Roast" signs, and was instantly overwhelmed with memories. Memories of the obvious . . . trip after trip to Seattle . . . drinking coffee that tastes just like its supposed to . . . cheering for a so-so team at the most beautiful ballpark in the country . . . sunny days in the middle of Spring. I’m ok with missing those. I can go back and experience these for years down the road.

Maybe I’m starting to mourn the things that will continue to grow and change . . . without the Williams family . . . without me. I miss my friends. I miss hearing more of their stories . . . rejoicing and being angry with them. I miss the family who helped us cope with not having our own close by, who wouldn’t have Josh and I (and later, Abby) find ourselves alone on a holiday. I miss listening to a group of people play/worship like I have never seen before. I miss the raw feelings worn on the sleeve of a small church community.

Some of our dear friends are in the process of buying their first home. I won’t be at their housewarming. Other friends just met their second-born. We missed that too. We’ve prayed for, still another family, who has been fighting with the Nicaraguan government to bring their 3 adopted sons home. The process is almost over, and we won’t be there to love all over the boys.

I know. That’s life. I am so thankful that God continues to provide just what we need. We are blessed more than we could have imagined. We have laughed a lot. Played a lot. Josh and I have even started dating again, thanks to the loving, gentle hands of our kiddos’ amazing Grandparents.

But, I’m a bit homesick.

(Dear friends in Washington, you know who you are. We miss you. Send a message and let us know how you are. If you don’t, I’m pretty sure I’ll stop blogging 😉 .)  

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11 responses »

  1. Thanks for making me get all emotional Erin…sorry for the homesick feelings but glad to know you miss us up here. Erinn and I miss you guys a bunch and hopefully will get down to see you before too much time passes. REALLY glad to hear that you and Josh are getting time together again. We love you guys.

  2. We miss you too!!! Bunches! It was great going through a pregnancy & becoming a family of four with you! I was just thinking that Zack & Bristol are hitting a HUGE milestone soon & they cant celebrate together…Miss you too my friends!! Love you!!

  3. I can’t begin to tell you how much I miss you all. It’s so funny, because almost every day, something reminds me that you’re gone-obviously, Sundays are a huge gaping hole…

    As the birthdays and holidays roll around-those are really hard. I STILL tear up when I think about our “skype” conversation and you guys singing “Majesty” for me on my birthday-that was the very best present EVER! I’ve been thinking already about how the heck we’re gonna do Thanksgiving this year..Josh, Erin, Abby and Zack-you will ALWAYS be a part of our family and we will always love you. The footprints you put on my heart will never go away and I am so thankful that God put you in my life-even though it seems like it just wasnt’ long enough. I’m very happy that you are getting settled in and are able to spend time with your “other” families!!! I know that God has so many more blessings waiting for you-selfishly, I wish they WERE in Washington!! Love you and miss you.

  4. well, dear one, i’m not one of those folk you listed (but i love those folk SO much, like you do!) … still, i AM one who misses you four terribly ~ seeing you for those fleeting few moments (and not getting to say goodbye… just how it was, sadly) was absolutely wonderful and in the same moments made my heart just ache, erin ~ you are so, so dearly loved. 🙂 please come see us!

  5. Erin..
    feeling homesick is a real thing.
    I believe it is healthy, normal and real.

    AND, the best part is you and Joshie are still so young…young enough to do and make decisions that are in your heart.

    We love being a part of your lives and babysitting for date nights, etc….but TOTALLY get the homesick thing…You met a wonderful church community and family and forever you will be bonded.

    Barb, being the “other family” members, I truly get how you feel missing the Williams’. Could you even imagine not having your children near you? It is difficult, but so wonderful to know how much you all love and miss each other.

    God Blessings always

  6. The Rogers’ fam totally misses you all, too! Just not the same without you all here.

    ….But I have to admit, that there is a part of my heart that is extremely jealous that you get to enjoy those California beach sunsets. There’s nothing like ’em!

    (((Hugs!))) to you all!!

  7. Well, we aren’t in Washington anymore, and I have those homesick feelings too. We love you guys and wish we were closer so Jack could play with your babies. I know he misses you guys and talks about you often. It warms my heart when a song comes on and he says ” that’s the song Mr. Josh used to sing at Pathways”. I am thankful that Jack has that memory of you guys! We are coming to California the first week of June…Maybe we can figure out a time to visit with you guys! Love Ya!

  8. oh Erin. I just read this. Your family is very missed here. I love hearing all about your world in California though. Seems to fit you like a glove. I’m sure the sunny days make it easier to get out and about with the whole family. What precious memories you’ll have of the beach and Disney trips together. Seattle and the people here will always miss you, but we are just a visit away. Don’t stop writing though. No matter frequent or how infrequent you write….or we respond, I think I (WE) all still remain your fans.

    Love,
    The Santos’s

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