I just had a serious “aha” moment. I finally get why the college years are valuable. It has little to do with grades. It has a LOT to do with experiencing new thoughts, new experiences, and new relationships.
How does this revelation relate to me personally?
Leaving the classes and dorm-life of college to get married, while not the WORST thing in the world (don’t worry honey, I would do it again 100x over), may have seriously stunted my development. And the worst, most terrifying, most exciting part is? This Erin’s coming-of-age period is happening right now…in the thick of my mommying-preschoolers time. What the?!?! Ask any of my friends. I cannot engage in conversation without wanting to REALLY engage. Conversations that start with “How was your week?” or “How is little Jasper sleeping lately?” end in discussions about poverty, human rights, and worst of all, inexplicable theological questions. Maybe its not a bad thing. But I fear that, before long, my mommy friends, also in the thick of their own mommying-preschoolers period, may start ducking behind walls when they see me walking in their direction. Generally, mommies of youngsters don’t have time to talk. And when there’s “time”, they (generally) aren’t able to focus…because little one is in the other room, someone needs to be fed, changed, bathed, consoled, or Princess needs a Queen mommy, or Thomas the Tank Engine needs a track built. All good, beautiful, incredibly INCREDIBLY important things.
My struggle? How do you continue developing as a person (your theology, worldview, talents, passions) when your world is so much about the world of your Ragamuffins. And we ALL know how much is necessary for their little worlds to continue spinning. I don’t THINK the answer is “get a job”. This time IS incredibly fulfilling, but this time (sniff, sniff) will end, and I don’t want to be “stuck” with myself. I don’t want the world to be “stuck” with a once, awesome, kick-ass mommy, who forgot to learn and grow along the way.
So, what are your thoughts? “Seasoned” moms, did you grow alongside your children, or will you admit to wishing you had given a little more time to your own personal (spiritual, intellectual, social) development? Or, or did the lessons of parenting, in your opinion, develop you enough? Younger moms, tell me you struggle with this also…